The Journal of Wear: My wardrobe is for me
This is the first of our running monthly series The Journal of Wear, where we document our swappers’ stories and relationships with their wardrobes in a style reminiscent of the 2000s blogging era. In a time of hyper-editorial and polished fashion content, this series centres the humanity of the wearers, captures the nuance of their relationship with their clothing pieces, and highlights how everyday clothes are incorporated into their lives.
Whenever we get to visit someone’s home, there is something sacred about being able to enter into someone else’s private, intimate space. When Xingyun and I initially arrived at Rachel’s house, we hovered in the doorway, thinking we would be shown to the living room for the interview. But Rachel immediately, warmly, ushers us into her bedroom. “It will be noisy out here, come, let’s go inside!”
As we enter Rachel’s bedroom, and she flicks on the light switch of her walk-in wardrobe, I feel awash with warmth — not just with the bright colours that fill the space, but also with Rachel’s welcoming and vivacious personality, which shines through her cosy wardrobe. She perches on the edge of a stool, and we sit down on the two laid out for us across her.
[R]achel immediately, warmly, ushers us into her bedroom. “It will be noisy out here, come, let’s go inside!”
She tells us that she is a mother of two, and currently expecting a third one. She’s been swapping since The Fashion Pulpit’s (TFP) Liang Court days, and has been with us ever since. “Last year, I didn’t buy anything — I just kept renewing my membership,” she quips.
We ask her about what she is wearing that day.
“Actually, this dress was found by my friend at TFP. So it has this funny thing here (referring to a lace trimming around the arm sleeve) that wouldn’t usually catch my eye, but she said “I think you should try this!” and I was like okayyy. But when I went to try it, it fit really well! And when I wore it, I realised it made me feel bubbly, so I got it!”
The dress is a pale purple, with puffy sleeves and bright blue polka dots all over, and indeed it seems to be made for Rachel. She continues, “And, it still fits even though I have this bulging thing!” She pats her growing belly with a laugh. We laugh and cheer alongside her.
The dress is a pale purple, with puffy sleeves and bright blue polka dots all over, and indeed it seems to be made for Rachel.
Rachel’s wardrobe is a walk-in she shares with her husband, Shayne. Rachel’s wardrobe sings bright and bold, with funky patterns and beautiful colours. Vintage pieces adorn her dresser, adding additional pops of colour to her white shelves.
“When we first moved into this place, I asked [my husband], “How much space do you need?” I don’t want him to complain that I have too much clothes, that’s so stressful… So whatever he needs, I’ll give it to him. And whatever he doesn’t use, I will just claim it as mine!”
Image: Rachel’s collection of vintage bags, accessories and colour shorts and skirts.
Rachel definitely did. She has carefully thought out how to best display her pieces for easy access, crafting out a sacred space for her to get dressed every day.
“This space is small, and when I enter it and it seems very crowded, it gives off negative energy. So I wanted to make it a more peaceful, calming space.”
“[My wardrobe] is an expression of who I want to be on that day. Whether it’s somebody fun or somebody sloppy, I ask myself, how do I want to feel on that day? My wardrobe lets me channel that internal energy!
“So whether I am hopeful for something, or I need that strong energy to emcee some event, I need my wardrobe to be a calming space for me to get ready for the day!”
The care and attention Rachel gives her space is evident - and even more so is how much that space means to her, and how much it serves her. Her wardrobe, dressing up, is a form of self-care. We ask her how much time she spends in her wardrobe every day. Rachel says that on any given day where she is not rushed to get somewhere, she could spend almost an hour in it, taking her time with putting together different outfits in front of the mirror. “It’s very therapeutic,” she smiles.
Even in her bedroom, I noticed that she has laid out her headbands in a wooden vase on the table, resembling a bouquet. Next to it sits a lovely hand-drawn picture of Rachel’s various outfits, from her friend as a wedding present. I appreciated how Rachel seemed to make her clothing pieces, down to how she arranged them, uniquely her own.
There was barely a solid colour in Rachel’s wardrobe, and she had a full section of funky, printed, vintage dresses. I asked Rachel about her style journey, how she came to appreciate and love what she does now. How would teenage Rachel feel about herself now?
“Hmm I think my first memory of dressing myself - and my mom probably didn’t approve - I wore a lot of midriff and jeans, and v-necks. But my aunt loves vintage. She doesn’t buy new clothes. Every time I see her, it’s bright, bold and always with statement pieces. And all the rest of the aunties I see are in brown. You know, plain. Just a t-shirt.
“My aunt also had a walk-in wardrobe -- her store room became her walk-in wardrobe. And when she grew much older, she told me, “take whatever you want!” And when I walk in, it’s all these vintage pieces! And that really influenced me a lot.”
Image: Collage of vintage accessories from Rachel’s aunt (01. A vintage box purse 02. A blue and purple braided waist belt 03. A gold belt with intricate hand details)
Rachel shows us a memorable piece - a pink patterned jumpsuit from Australian fashion and lifestyle brand, Gorman.
“I got this from Perth, it’s from Gorman. I love Gorman, it’s so funky and fun. The pieces fit me very well. But I only managed to wear this a few times… I got it in 2015, and then I got pregnant, yeah. The last time I wore it, I went to meet a friend for brunch. But luckily, we took a picture.
Yeah, it’s the only full-price Gorman piece I paid for. I always go to the warehouse sales first, but I saw this at the Gorman store. I was very scared, because it was very expensive. But I was like okay, I will just buy ONE piece. And I love this piece!”
Image: Rachel’s said pink jumpsuit with old school illustrations of table tennis bats, roses, jello, potted plants and smiley faces. She layers it with an embellished black fabric necklace.
“I really liked this print. It gives off a bit of a vintagey feel, because of the pictures that they chose. Like look at the jelly shape, it reminds me of those old tupperware containers. And the pink they chose, it's not a bright pink but a faded pink. I never usually wear pink, but I liked this one!”
It reminds me of having brunch with my friend, and also the feeling when I wore it, it’s like, I felt great! And not sloppy. ‘Cos you go to the cafe, people are looking at you, what you wear, so when I’m wearing this I feel like, “Ooooh, hi!””
Rachel shares with us how she had to adapt her clothing choices due to her pregnancy.
“Now and then is different. When you get pregnant, your body changes. I don’t like being pregnant, because it comes with a lot of physical [discomfort]. You know, very uncomfortable, you don’t feel good about yourself, very tired. I just wanna lie down on my bed and sleep, and watch Netflix, or whatever.
The first pregnancy was very hard. I was just living out of big t-shirts, sometimes I just wear my husband’s t-shirts. And I bought a lot of maternity shorts that are loose and comfortable.
Now, it’s better, and I wear dresses, because there is no pressure on my waist. I miss my tops and bottoms though!”
“Back then, I lived out of vintage. Everyday, I would always be in vintage. I am that person taking selfies in the toilet at work. Now, I think I still carry that vibe through patterns and colours, but in larger sizes, for more room and comfort.”
Hearing Rachel’s journey into motherhood, through her clothing, moved me. I admired how Rachel faithfully clung onto pieces that reminded her of herself even as her body changed and grew, even as things no longer fit as they used to. But they will, eventually, again - she reminds us of that. She just has to be patient with this new season.
I marvelled at how she carried her style with her even as a mum, not leaving her spunky, vivacious closet behind but instead transforming it to suit her needs. She plays with silhouettes, colours, and patterns, and proudly shows us her beautiful vintage bag and shoe collection. We ooohh and aaahh over the little details that she points out to us. It’s like she knows her wardrobe like the back of her hand.
But they will, eventually, again - she reminds us of that. She just has to be patient with this new season.
“Whenever I shop, I like to do it alone. Because when I shop with people, they might tell me something is ugly, and I’m like no! It is not!
Or, they might tell me to try on something, and say, it’s cute. But to me, it will look funny and strange. Yeah, so I like to shop alone, so I don’t need to hear another person ask me, “How much is it?” “Are you gonna wear it?””
“People say I have too much, but to me, it’s not too much! I feel like every piece is important; this [wardrobe] is just right for me.”
Indeed, it’s true. Rachel’s closet may be overwhelming for some people, but we know that for her, it’s just right. It is evident not just in the way she organises her clothes, or in the way she cares for her items, but also in how her face lights up when she speaks about it, when she spends her time inside it.
“At the end of the day, I will always decide for myself. If I feel that I can pull it off, I like it, I will take it. I want to keep being bold and adventurous!”
We know she will.
Image: Pages out of Rachel and Shayne’s pre-wedding photo book. Rachel is wearing a floral printed red and green dress in one photo and a floral printed teal and white dress with matching shoes in the other.
About The Journal of Wear
The Journal of Wear features narrative-style writing, where we capture the wearer’s unique voice and story from their perspective and ours. Instead of a simple Q & A format, we hope to craft a narrative that depicts us entering the wearer’s wardrobe/closet/bedroom space, how we got to know about the wearer’s story of their chosen item of clothing, and how each of us felt within the experience of conversing about our clothes.
The Journal of Wear is the labour of love of Esther Koh and Xingyun Shen who first bonded over how clothing can affect and shape its wearer in an intimate way. It is an extension of The Fashion Pulpit’s existing video series: SWAP STORIES. This article is written by Esther and edited by Xingyun. All photos are captured by us with an iPhone 7 Plus and an iPhone X.