The Journal of Wear: Clothes as a language of love:
'The Journal of Wear’ documents our swappers’ stories and relationships with their wardrobes in a style reminiscent of the 2000s blogging era. In a time of hyper-editorial and polished fashion content, this series centres the humanity of the wearers, captures the nuance of their relationship with their clothing pieces, and highlights how everyday clothes are incorporated into their lives.
In this series's last entry, I speak to Esther and her mum Alicia. Esther is the co-creator of The Journal of Wear, making this interview extra special. It feels like a full circle moment that our last entry features her relationship with her mum.
I arrive at Esther and Alicia’s abode on a slow Sunday afternoon, relieved to see my friend. The sun was scorching, but a notable pre-shower breeze added a much-needed respite to an otherwise static day.
In the living room, my eyes wander to the decorative objects in the living space. From a trio of framed art hung above the couch, travel memorabilia collected from family trips, and photos of baby Esther displayed next to her brothers’ on the TV console, I realised this home looks like mine. That made me smile.
By the time we settled on the couch, all accounts of dreariness from the day had faded. I was eager to speak to the mother-daughter duo about how their relationship with each other translates into their styles.
“I am a working mum. I transitioned from being a homemaker to returning to work after Esther turned ten years old,” Alicia begins.
“It’s for my sake, actually. Because I wanted my mum to stay with me,” Esther, who is now in her final year of university and lives on campus most of the time, chimes in.
Alicia is in a bright, neon yellow sleeveless top with a collar lined with embellished crystals, while Esther is in a white crop top and home shorts. “Mum doesn’t have a typical style. She likes patterns and colours, and doesn’t wear much black and white,” the latter describes.
“I used to, you know?” Alicia replies. “And then I did a colour analysis and was told that my colours are colours of autumn.”
“I feel like over time, that just broadened. [It helped you] enter the colour world. Now you don’t really follow just autumnal colours,” Esther suggests with candour. “You see this colour (referring to the yellow top Alicia is wearing), it’s so bright!”
Alicia agrees, “I think my clothes bring out my personality and expression for me. Accessories and makeup help, but clothes help me convey my self-expression.”
Alicia (L) and Esther (R)
Clothing is a common interest between the mother and daughter—they establish this at the start of our chat. Over the years, as they understood their style preferences and strokes better, clothing has become a love language the mother and daughter duo share.
“I used to buy clothes for her when she was younger. Over time, she started to buy her clothes. And then, when she started swapping, it was beyond what I had defined for her. But I have nothing against it,” Alicia laughs.
Esther cheers in response, “She is very supportive. I think it’s quite cool. I feel quite free when I dress with my parents.”
“I think it’s a journey for her. Last time she had to be a good student. Must conform (sic). Now she does what she likes, and it’s okay with me,” Alicia says, looking back at Esther.
“I am glad I am not acting like this out of rebellion against my parents. It’s just a discovery of the self.”
“I think it’s also the playfulness of being able to explore through clothes that as a young child I didn’t get to do because of school uniforms and trying to fit in with your friend groups,” Esther explains. “Now, I feel like I have even more child-like energy in playing with my clothes. Clothes—objects and a process—are healing for me.”
“Now, we share our clothes. Sometimes my mum will take my clothes from my room, and she will send me a selfie of her wearing it,” she laughs.
I am envious of how safe and at ease Esther feels with Alicia. From discussing her tattoos to her hair-bleaching adventures and the journey of coming into herself through her sense of style and building a relationship with her body, Alicia is never opposing but understanding and supportive.
I feel so much mutual love and respect coming from both women. I’m sure difficult conversations happen behind closed doors for them to share their current relationship.
To be a mother to an adult, providing comfort and respite while navigating this world that so desperately needs reorganising, is, to put it broadly, so kind. And vice versa.
Alicia and Esther didn’t discover their love for clothing alone. They did it with each other.
“My mum shops for my dad and brothers at TFP,” Esther tells me how everyone in the family now has clothes from The Fashion Pulpit.
Alicia tells me that her [older] son started a part-time job and needed a new wardrobe. In two weeks, she put together a wardrobe for him with clothes and shoes from The Fashion Pulpit. “He looks very presentable now, you know?” Alicia beams with pride for her son and herself.
“Oh, and my youngest brother is a fashionista now! I feel like I bonded with him through some pieces I picked out for him at TFP. When my family first came to TFP, he got quite a few items. And he will listen to my advice—for the first time in my life, he listened to me,” Esther sings.
Alicia adds cheerily, “He even changed his WhatsApp profile photo to the one we took at TFP!”
Certainly, swapping has enabled a newfound dynamic between family members. It’s not only found its place as practical garments for work and leisure but a conduit of confidence and expression. These common themes weave through this new dynamic the family has found for themselves.
We follow Alicia into her room. Through the large windows, sunlight washes the room with a vibrant glow. Amid a passing afternoon sun shower, the afternoon lull becomes unnoticeable.
“Because my wardrobe space is limited, I have a trick where I layer my clothes on the hanger to save space. I organise them by colour so they are very easy to find, like at TFP.”
Alicia explains how a new organising system has helped her dress with more ease.
She proceeds to pull out the dress—a silk floral number from a vintage shop in the Blue Mountains. She tells me she got the dress before Esther was born. “This dress is older than you!” Alicia exclaims enthusiastically to Esther.
“I love this because it doesn’t crease no matter how you fold it. It’s very easy to pack on trips.”
Alicia explains as she runs her palm across the silky surface of the dress.
Esther gushes, “It sits on different bodies very nicely because my mum and I have different body types. It’s a very kind dress.” Her love for the piece is evident. “This dress is part of my inheritance!” she adds cheekily.
I take a moment to scan through my wardrobe mentally, recalling some of my all-time favourite pieces. Do I have any heirloom-worthy ones?
My thoughts are interrupted by another dress Alicia picked out. It’s a pink, long-sleeve dress with cutouts of geometric shapes.
“I wore this dress for my Valentine’s date this year,” she shares.
L: Alicia’s date night dress R: Alicia on Valentine’s Day 2023, courtesy of Esther
“My mum looked so good in this dress! They went on a cable car Valentine’s dinner thingy,” Esther announces zealously, showing me a photo of Alicia in the dress.
“I like to impress my husband,” Alicia says shyly, her eyes exuding love and warmth for her partner in life.
Alicia’s neatly organised wardrobe, where she overlays her pieces to save space and hangers. She carefully ensures that the pieces underneath are not completely hidden, leaving details still visible to her, like a collar or the long hem.
Since Esther lives on campus, she brought the few pieces she felt represented her current state of mind to share with us. “These are all from TFP,” she displays her clothes on Alicia’s bed.
“When I go to TFP, I don’t have a goal. I let these pieces come to me naturally.”
“There is that narrowness of my search if I go to Uniqlo to look for a specific basic item. But when I go to TFP, pieces randomly speak to me,” Esther remarks.
She picks up a patterned, lightweight blouse and smiles, “This piece is very special. I wore it a lot in Spain. I don’t like to wear it around school because I like to keep the memory of Spain in the shirt.”
“To me, this is my ‘Spain’ shirt. I will wear it again when I am on holiday, and I will never give it away.”
L: Esther’s Spain blouse R: Esther in Spain, April 2022, photo courtesy of Esther. She wears the same blouse with blue denim jeans and brown sandals.
“This is my favourite cardigan ever,” she pulls out a simple, black cardigan from underneath her pile. “It is super worn.”
“There are some pieces in my wardrobe that I always reach for, and some that I only wear if I feel a certain way. All of them make sense as a big family. I don’t feel like I don’t love this piece [Spain top] any less, just because I don’t wear it as much. I love it equally as this [black cardigan],” she chronicles, pointing to the pieces on the bed.
“One is the friend that is always there for you. And one is the friend that will party with you. Both are equally important.”
“My connection with my wardrobe parallels how I feel about myself and my state of mind. Right now, I am in a good place with my wardrobe. I understand each piece and why it is there. Much different than I was two or three years ago, when I constantly needed to cycle out my clothes.” Esther affirms contently.
She notices a small hole as she thumbs through the cardigan's sleeves.
“Can sew! If not, the whole thing goes to waste. It will stretch over time, so it’s important to mend now to save the piece.”
Alicia nudges Esther.
We return to the living room, where Alicia stores her mending kit. Alicia tells me that the set of threads in her kit is from her dowry basket, “It’s about 30 years old. From 1997.”
“This black thread is from Esther. Because dowry doesn't have anything [in] black.”
“Maybe I can show you my sewing technique. When I sew, I loop the thread over the needle so it’s more secure. Then there will be a line that forms…
See?”
Alicia demonstrates, resting her mending kit on her lap.
As Alicia sews, I ask them how swapping has helped form a deeper relationship with their clothes.
“We bond over the excitement we feel from finding a good piece. It’s a joy we both resonate with,” Esther starts.
“I think TFP helped me to be adventurous. Instead of buying new clothes, I like to go to TFP and let the pieces surprise me. I stopped buying new ones already. Before COVID, I bought two dresses that I could not wear anymore. So sad, you know?” Alicia lets out a sigh.
“But then swapping turns it into a not-sad thing. You become more confident with your style over time because swapping allows you to try new things with a lower stake,” Esther replies sympathetically.
“Swapping allows us to be freer. We are not so bound to our clothes and feel obligated to fit them into our lives. It’s freeing—freeing style.”
Esther and Alicia in Taiwan, decked out in clothes from The Fashion Pulpit. Photos courtesy of Esther.
We speak about their hopes for their wardrobes moving forward.
“I have most of what I need. I am already very happy. I am very content with my wardrobe,” Alicia says.
I think about how that is a bold statement—to be content with the pieces we already own must mean a certain form of coming home to one’s body and mind. To be aligned with the self at this given moment.
“I want my wardrobe to continue to grow alongside me. I think that is the best hope I can have, to grow alongside my wardrobe. Both are interconnected,” Esther concludes.
“Ok. done! Tadah!” Alicia says, in time to wrap up our conversation.
I thank them both for a much-needed energising and rejuvenating conversation. As I left, I felt my heart fuller and my steps lighter.
Post-note:
Esther sent me a voice recording a few days after the interview with an updated answer she has for my last question about her hopes for her wardrobe.
In it, she explains, “I want my wardrobe to have longevity in my life, to use every piece for its whole lifetime. To have my clothes watch me through changes in different seasons. [...] Whenever I am uncomfortable with a certain stage of my life, I feel like I need to frantically change up my closet. So, now, even when I am uncomfortable with life, I want my clothes to have longevity and see me through the years.”
Her clothes will stand by her through all seasons of life, I know they will.